The following short stories were written during my time running a kids’ fitness center.

 Joan & Anakin

Joan is wise beyond her years; a kind and caring soul.
Anakin's a wild child who's learning self-control.
Joan navigates the mat with grace; attentive to her peers.
While Anakin blazes a trail of drool and sweat and tears.
Joan's always looking out for him. “Stop biting your collar.”
Anakin sits with a grin, needing of a shower.

This pair of fraternal twins was the epitomy of Yin and Yang; opposites balanced with an unbreakable bond of sibling kinship. Despite his hyper demeanor, it wasn't uncommon for 7-year-old Anakin to randomly throw his arms around Joan and declare “I love my sister!”. The kid had a huge heart, and it more-than-made-up for what a handful he could be behaviorally. I really enjoyed coaching them both, and their affectionate character was undoubtedly bestowed by the nurturing mother they'd been blessed with.

One day I was coaching a full-day program with the pair of them in a twelve-kid group. Joan had no trouble mingling with her peers and befriending all that she encountered. Meanwhile, Anakin came on a bit strong and scared some cohorts away. This became especially apparent when the kids were participating in the 'Build Your Own Course' phase of the day, where they'd constructed an alcove beneath a bridge. It comfortably held four kids at a time, and its occupants (exclusively boys) would rotate in-and-out after about a minute of hiding away and chuckling over absurd adolescent banter.

Anakin attempted to join this club multiple times, but was turned away with each effort. Frustrated after his latest attempt, he cried “Coach G, they're being mean to me!” Upon asking the leader of the bridge trolls, it was explained to me that “We only have one rule, no wet people.” Well, shoot... It was hard to argue with their grounds for discrimination. Anakin's shirt was soaked from neck to chest, saturated in spit from his nervous tic of gnawing at his collar. Luckily, I'd remembered that he'd been wearing a hoodie earlier. “Anakin, do you still have your Spiderman sweatshirt in your cubbie?” He confirmed, running over and donning the dry garment over his spittled shirt.

Anakin's next attempt to enter the under-bridge nook was approved, and he remained there for the next fifteen minutes fraternizing with each passerby. I was pleased with this development, since it seemed to appease all parties. Anakin was allowed access, and his new amigos were enthralled with his ridiculous sense of humor. It was a real win-win. At the end of the day, we had the kids circle-up and share their favorite part of the day along with a new friend they've made. To Anakin's delight, he was the most popular choice. Joan couldn't have been more proud.

Ice World

Every night we spray the floors with quite a potent mixture.
The disinfectant mist rains down on every ToughTots fixture.
One cap of yellow cleaning juice, plus lots of Fabuloso.
And if you were to swap these two, chaos was sure to follow.

What in the world is going on?! I arrived to work on Sunday morning to discover that my floor, and every obstacle on it, was coated in a thin, slippery sludge. It smelled pleasant, but felt disgusting. The vinyl mat itself was super slick and difficult to traverse without sliding. The plastic equipment was downright deadly. I was absolutely perplexed, and already dreading how my students would react to this curveball.

Sure enough... “Coach G, why does the floor feel like ice?!” cried my very first student of the day. Of course it took outspoken Anya mere seconds to notice the irregular slickness. At least the 9-11 year olds would be the first to deal with it. I figured they'd be coordinated enough to avoid disaster. Or would their speed and size serve to amplify the danger? To my dismay, the latter was proven true.

Larry's feet were perfectly poised atop the triangular climbing structure made of glossy PVC. Any other day, this handstand shimmy would have emphatically ended with his signature cartwheel dismount. But today, in ice world, the result was painfully different. WHAM! CRASH! His toes had unexpectedly lost grip on the plastic pipe, first leading to his lower shins and ankles taking a good whack up top. This was followed by his hip slamming down onto the tube that formed the base of the obstacle. It happened in the blink of an eye. Larry's shocked expression quickly gave way to tears.

I was furious; livid at whichever neglectful coach caused this incident to occur by booby trapping my floor the night before. I set my rage aside and tended to the fallen child, making sure no serious injury was sustained. Luckily he'd simply gotten the wind knocked out of him, and would certainly be taking home some new bruises. I slowly helped him back to his starting dot to relax and recover. Upon arriving there, he was promptly chastised by his father. “Settle down, Larry, you'll be fine,” the man coldly remarked.

How embarrassing. Not nearly as embarrassing for Larry as it was for his asympathic dad. Have you no heart, sir? I had to turn away from them to hide my scowl and the curses muttered under my breath. Calm down. Caaalm down. This was the first of three classes I was coaching that day, and I couldn't afford to lose my cool so early. That's when she walked in; my guardian angel, holding a Mickey Mouse balloon and a cake-flavored smoothie.

Did I mention that it was my birthday? I'd kept this fact hidden from my coworkers, but my girlfriend couldn't resist the opportunity to pay me a surprise visit. Her timing couldn't have been better. Suddenly my frustration was washed away by amusement and gratitude. Even Larry chuckled at the sight of his adult coach receiving a child's birthday balloon. We all had a good laugh, then class quickly resumed with a renewed sense of positivity. To my delight, the rest of the day went remarkably smoothly. The treacherous ice world claimed no additional casualties.